"DO YOU LIKE HER?"
One Saturday, I left the shop a little early so that I could
change clothes and make it across town in time to officiate a
wedding. It was for a very sweet, young couple we know.
I was reminded of the time not long ago when Sherry and I
celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. Though we've only been
married 35 years, we’d heard so much about the 50th anniversary
that we decided to go ahead and celebrate it in advance. We had
one grand celebration. We went on a cruise and everything.
Having actually been married 35 years, and being recognized by
the state as an officiant; I thought maybe I was qualified to
give a little marital advice during the ceremony. I considered
telling them that had they lived in the 1500's they would have
been about a month early for the wedding. Back then they took
their annual baths in May and got married in June. Thus, the
popularity of June weddings. I decided the bride and groom
didn't need to know that.
What I did tell them was about the young man who went to the
father of his intended to ask for his daughter's hand in
marriage. The old gentleman fixed his eyes on his future
son-in-law and asked, "Well, son, do you like her?"
"I love her," he said.
The wise old fellow had a very direct reply. "I didn't ask you
if you love her. I asked you if you like her." He explained the
He explained, as I did during the ceremony, that falling in love
is one thing. Being lifetime friends and companions is quite
another. Falling in love is largely the result of physical
attraction, and is natural. To stay in love we must learn to
like each other. That can be a bit more of a challenge than
attraction, because it requires an ongoing exercise of maturity.
It doesn’t just come naturally.
BARBER-OSOPHY: If a relationship lasts it's usually because
those involved have worked at liking each other.
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